Episode

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2002-06-29

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework What prevents you from acting on what you know to be true? What forces of fear and desire pull you in a counter direction to being responsible?

This week live with the question, “What prevents me from being responsible here and now?” Be aware of superficial explanations about your circumstances or busyness. Continue to ask the question through the range of excuses. Whenever the mind stops and says, “This is the reason,” pause, and ask yourself if this is true. Is your ability to hold responsibility strengthened through living this question?

TalkID=766

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2002-06-24

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework What strategies do you employ to keep from paying attention? Which of your intentional behaviors dull your mind (shopping, surfing the Web, telephoning, emailing, eating, entertainment)? Can you feel the pain that drives these strategies? Are you able to access the pain without moving back into unskillful dulling behavior?
Practice a period of abstinence this week in which the drugging behavior is relinquished. For example, spend a day or more without turning on the computer, TV, or cell phone. The mind can be very irritable during detoxification. Be patient with the irritability. Replace the dulling behavior with the question, “Where is aliveness here and now?” Don’t allow the question to direct you towards more enjoyable alternatives, but toward your natural aliveness in this moment.

TalkID=696 SeriesID=29

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2002-06-17

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework The Buddha said, “One who is about to admonish another should realize within himself or herself five qualities before doing so:
(1) At the right time will I speak, not at the wrong time. (2) In truth shall I speak, not in falsehood. (3) Gently will I speak, not harshly. (4) For their benefit will I speak, not for their harm. (5) With kindly intent will I speak, not with anger.
This week use these five qualities to govern your speech. At first your speech may seem a little stilted and pretentious as if you were politician trying to always say the right thing, but the real intent is to speak from the heart rather than from reactivity. Be patient with the process of unlearning your old style of communication and learning a new one.

TalkID=695 SeriesID=29

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2002-06-10

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework Notice how thinking keeps you from being sensitive to your inward and outward experience. Go outdoors and take a walk. As you move around open the senses to the sights, sounds, and smells of the environment. Notice how the day’s events impact the listening. Watch how “the story of the me” forms around this sense data (my flowers look so good this time of year, I wonder if this runny nose is the beginning of a cold or just allergies, the sound of that airplane reminds me of our vacation in July). Now practice presence and release yourself from the thinking. Notice what difference that makes to your availability and sensitivity. From this exercise what does being sensitive mean?

TalkID=768 SeriesID=19

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2002-05-27

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework Notice how much time you spend with sexually related thoughts. How much of your energy is consumed in that direction and how many of your interactions have a sexual overtone? How far do you go in playing out the fantasies? When does your sexual energy interfere with your commitments of heart? Do you use your sexual energy to gain power or manipulate the situation in any way? Is your sexual life in order?
This week bring a concerted effort to watching the forms and displays of your sexual energy. Notice the positive and negative effects of the energy. During sexual activity are you consumed with greed and desire or is there an affectionate sensitivity to the whole person? What role does intimacy play in your sexual activities?

TalkID=694 SeriesID=29

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2002-05-13

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework This precept is about the tension between replenishing and reducing. There are many opportunities each day to strengthen generosity or selfishness. Living with the gross and subtle forms of this precept will show you the conflict between wise and unwise view. Use the following mantra this week: “Where is generosity in this moment?” This question points towards the conflict between your self-interest and interconnectedness. Open to the contraction of heart and the lack of tolerance. Watch the subtle infractions of this precept, how you take disproportionately of time, space, and objects. Notice when you “take” advantage of someone. The most subtle form of this precept implies “taking just what is given” in the moment and not adding anything to it. Suspend your thoughts, conclusions, opinions, and views. Receive the moment just as it is.

TalkID=693 SeriesID=29

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2002-04-29

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework The precept to refrain from taking life is concerned with developing sensitivity to all forms and expressions of life. Where do you lose that sensitivity? Although no being is dismissed as irrelevant, “refraining from” is not the same as “thou shall not.” What is the difference? Is it possible to live and never kill other life forms? This week build in the pause of “refrain from” and use the space to connect with life rather than eliminating it. The gross infractions are more obvious but the subtle components of this precept might include any dismissive or negating behavior of another. What are the effects on this precept when you only consider your own needs? How is the hurt from your dismissive actions rationalized (“She deserved it anyway….”)?

TalkID=658 SeriesID=29

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2002-04-15

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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TalkID=648 SeriesID=29

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2002-03-18

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework Finding spiritual sufficiency in the midst of the wanting mind is the purpose of the homework this week. Notice how unfulfilled desires can lead to a loss of vitality and boredom. If thoughts go unchecked, desire occasionally moves even deeper into neediness and dependency. Notice where the wanting mind is directed and what it seems to lack. What experience is needed for fulfillment? Feel the sense of incompletion within the wanting. What self-descriptive thoughts perpetuate the assumption of being incomplete without the desired object? Feel the dependency on the object of your desire. Can you relax with the wanting without trying to fulfill it? Behind the wanting is the fear of not having. Embody that fear and see what it says about you.
When you find yourself pursuing a desire, stop the action and ask, “Why am I doing this?” Cut through all the excuses and rationalization until you arrive at “I don’t know.” When you have stopped, the emotion driving the action will be felt. Enter into the emotion and be the feeling. Become intimately familiar with all aspects of the emotion. Remain aware of all the thoughts that arise within the emotion. As you become more familiar with the desire, the power it has over you decreases.

TalkID=709 SeriesID=28

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2002-03-11

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework Observe how loneliness fosters the view of being disconnected. Loneliness has a compelling thought stream that reaffirms how cut off and tragic you are. There is often the accompanying pain from the belief in one’s insufficiency that says you are not worthy of connection. Are you able to see how self-mistrust helps engender the feelings of disconnection and loneliness? The mind identifies with the pain of being cut off and confirms its premise through external observation. The mind sees according to the emotion it is struggling against, not according to objective reality. To arrest this process, track the source back to the pain of feeling disconnected.
Let thoughts of your lack of self-worth go. Relax with the emotion, as painful as it might be. Bring caring attention (connection) to the emotion and then expand it to your whole being. Finally, soften your eyes and allow everything to be just as it is. Ask yourself, “Where am I disconnected in this moment?”

TalkID=711 SeriesID=28