Episode

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2006-03-07

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework What would people see if you did not hide? Write down those qualities you wish did not exist in you. Notice how defensive and inauthentic you become when those qualities arise and how their existence maintains your inward judger and commentator. Observe how fear of these traits being seen prevents your voice from being heard. Watch all the ways you hide your position, the way you shake your head in agreement when you disagree, the way you go against your own values, the way you pull back in safely and refuse to get involved. Ask yourself, “What am I protecting?” as a mantra. Keep the intention of opening your heart to the whole of you. Use self-metta when needed.

TalkID=403 SeriesID=27

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2006-02-28

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework Hold the fact that your life will end, not as an abstraction, but as an approaching reality. You live as if you expect to live, but is that true? When you hold the truth of your death do you become more alive, afraid, or both? What are you afraid of losing? Notice how you perpetuate what you are afraid of losing in perpetuity—a life without end. During one of your meditations, sit with your mortality and ask, “If this were my last breath, how would I breathe it? If this were my last thought, emotion, physical sensation, how would I hold it? If this were my last meditation, how would I approach it? Notice a quality of appreciation arising that is not there when you take life for granted.

TalkID=402 SeriesID=27

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2006-02-14

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework Follow these steps the next time you find yourself blindly seeking refuge in pleasant experiences and/or avoiding the unpleasant situations in your life. Stop, interrupt the behavior, and bring forth a spiritual perspective by asking:

Am I aware of the pain that is driving this behavior?
What am I getting out of this, and is this what I want my life to be about?
What am I really lacking in this moment?
Can I hold this drive without judging or identifying with it?

If you are determined to follow through with this impulse, at least slow down and learn all about this behavior and what motivates it.

TalkID=558 SeriesID=27

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2006-01-31

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework Reflect on the nature of desire and fear. How do desire and fear project their own reality? Think about what a desire is. Does it have any reality other than a mental wish? How much of your activity is forged around wish fulfillment as opposed to being present?
Experience the relationship between desire and suffering. Is desire itself pleasant? Are you driven by the pain of not having or the anticipation of possessing? Focus on a situation in which you want something that is not occurring. See the choices before you: reality or imagination. Why would the dharma point toward accepting a reality where you remain deprived? What is the point? Why not practice wish fulfillment? Remain sensitive to suffering and its cause throughout this inquiry.

TalkID=401 SeriesID=27

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2006-01-17

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework Be aware of the range and expressions of your suffering. Use the week to focus on the gross and subtle forms of your personal pain as it occurs throughout the day. Each time you find yourself in conflict, ask yourself, “Who is responsible for this?”  Watch your tendency to blame and externalize the causes.
See if you can experience pain and conflict as two separate events. Reacting to an unpleasant painful sensation is suffering. Separate the sensation from the mental reaction. For example, if you hurt your knee or burn your finger, experience the physical pain as an unpleasant sensation. Notice how much reacting to that pain causes fear and anger. Is it possible to release the mental reaction? What happens to the intensity of the pain when you are able to let go of the reactivity?

TalkID=400 SeriesID=27

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2006-01-10

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework Pick one of the Five Precepts (refrain from killing, refrain from taking what is not offered, refrain from distorted or harsh speech, refrain from sexual misconduct, and refrain from drugs or drink which cloud the mind) for study this week. This training is intended to heighten your awareness of both the gross and subtle forms of disconnection within that precept. Make a point to examine the subtle areas very carefully. For instance, wise speech might apply to self-beliefs such as your projections, self-doubt, and unworthiness. Refraining from taking life might include any dismissive or negating behavior to another. Refraining from sexual misconduct could imply using flirtation or sexuality in a manipulative or deceitful manner. Refraining from drugs and drink could include caffeine and sugar. Remember the precepts are not meant to foster a sense of failure but to point to a more connected view of life.

TalkID=399

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2006-01-05

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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TalkID=398

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2005-12-10

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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TalkID=657

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2005-11-22

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework When do you find yourself bored? What do you do to prevent boredom from arising? What level of entertainment do you depend upon to keep your life exciting and interesting? What conclusion does boredom reach about this moment? When this state arises, is there fear that you may be a boring person or that life without stimulation may not be worth living? This week study all aspects of boredom—when and under what circumstances it arises, how you counter the mind state, any fear that might arise, and conclusions that are drawn. Instead of acting out the boredom or applying counter measures, sit and be patient. Do not listen to the boredom-induced thoughts. Watch the state of mind itself closely and arouse interest in seeing what it is. It is the mind’s defense against being here and now and cannot withstand close attention. Until we are willing to see through this mindstate, practice will arrest whenever boredom arises.

TalkID=659 SeriesID=39

Teacher: Rodney Smith

Date: 2005-11-15

Venue: Seattle Insight Meditation Center

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Homework Chronicle your moods for a week. Be very perceptive and watch how your moods influence others. Do your moods have a manipulative quality to them? When you are in the midst of your mood is there any space to see other possibilities? Reflect upon your history with these moods. Think of all the ways these moods have controlled your life. Are they so familiar that you can’t see yourself living in any other way?
Make a list of your most frequent moods. Across from each mood on the list write down how that emotion seems to control your actions or attitudes. Finally, across from this second list, write down the actions that would allow more space, ease, and healing with that emotion. For example, one of your moods might be sadness. Through your sadness you may close down to others and lose your buoyancy and optimism. Exercise and engaging activity may become more difficult. Your third list might include actions that counter your second list such as exercising every day, deliberately calling a friend, or countering your pessimistic thinking with periodic reality checks. Another example might be anger. Your second list might include revenge, backbiting, gossiping, and self-righteousness. Your third list might include taking reflective time away from the situation, lovingkindness meditation, healing with effective communication, or attempting to understand the other person’s point of view.

TalkID=656 SeriesID=39